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It’s OK to feel “young at heart” as long as your emotional tool bag
doesn’t feel too empty or too disorganised at the same time

Middle STAR - Rational Thinking  takes over - Bright green   “I decide to  ....”

This marks a big step forward in emotional age.  At this point reasoning and logic tools take over from the younger automatic patterns and can consciously over-ride many of them. Reality is becoming clearer.

Not so skilled yet at integrating feelings and logic together when decision making.

Thoughts Actions or Feelings like those below indicate how well your Reasonable, Rational Thinking system is developing:

• I am getting better at making sensible decisions.
• The more  I can think rationally and analyse the issues and see things from two or more different points of view the better I am at solving my problems.
• The more I think through a problem rationally the stronger I feel and the less my emotional pain.
• However, somehow I still can’t fix everything. I know I am “good enough” but deep down inside I sometimes still feel “not good enough”. It seems to me that there are some things that rational thinking cannot quite get to or fix.

Reasonable, Rational
Thinking
System

STAR EXPLORER - Starting to Grow my self- Awareness - Aqua  
   “I choose to ........”

As your emotional age grows so you become conscious of your  developing self-aware grown-up parts. Your tools are now well organised and you are becoming better at choosing just the right tool for each task. You can also use several tools at the same time to improve the results.

Problem solving is getting better. Less emotional pain.

Thoughts Actions or feelings like those below indicate growing  emotional intelligence and emotional age awareness:

• Problem solving is getting better. Less emotional pain.
• More and more aware that controlling others doesn’t help me feel better inside or fix anything inside me.
• Less interest in power and control issues. I am starting to feel good enough inside.
• Growing sense of grown-up self-awareness and balanced self-empowerment. Feeling good enough more of the time.
•  Aware of my vulnerability but feeling self protected in ways that don’t get me into blaming or controlling others.

Thinker Fixer systems - dark green   
  “How can we fix it  ...?”

Thinker Fixers are starting to work with your Sensible Thinking system, your rational mind, so it can help by providing better tools to look at issues clearly from both sides, then analyse, reason and resolve issues.  

However Thinker Fixer systems are not always accompanied by a mature outlook.

Thoughts Actions or feelings like those below indicate your movement out of automatic and emotionally younger protector systems:

• I am want to make sensible decisions.
• I am realising at last that controlling others doesn’t help me feel better inside or fix anything inside me.

Thinker-Fixer

Starting to Grow my Self- Awareness

In order to follow the information on this page you will find it is better to read the pages Explaining the EA Wheel and Put Your EA Wheel to Work before you spend too much time here.